I manage to drag myself out of bed exhausted and wake Brian and Alex up from their restful slumber. We then all went to breakfast and went downstairs to rent a taxi to take us to all the places we wanted to see. Because our hotel was so big and was four stars, there was a travel agency of sorts on the first floor which rented us a taxi and driver for the entire day who then drove us to all the things we did. I think it cost each of us a couple hundred Baht each for the entire day (100 baht = $3.33 USD).
Our adventure began when out taxi driver took us to the river so we could take a boat ride for 400 baht each. The boat ride consisted of this long boat and a boat driver, and we had the boat for about an hour. We started out riding up the river for a few minutes when we turned into a side canal and rode in there for around 15 minutes. But first, the Hat Story.
So, when we immediately get out of our car we’re ambushed by three people. One of them is trying to put Hawaiian looking lays around our necks and another guy put a hat on my head, with the third lady holding up postcards. We assumed that it was some sort of welcome thing for the boat ride and walked toward the dock. That’s when the guy who put the hat on my head started to compliment me on it. I thought that was a little odd but kept walking on my way. Then he held up his hand with the number 400 written on it. I soon learned that nothing is ever, ever free. So this guy wanted 400 baht for the hat he put on my head. So I took the hat off, handed it to him and politely said no as I kept walking. He puts the hat right back on my head and says “four-hundred.” I take it off and say “No” again, this time a little more firmly. This time he puts it back on my head and says “350 baht.” I take it off a third time and say no again. He grabs it out of my hands and I think the ordeal is finally over, but no, he puts it on my head for the fourth time and says “300 baht.” Once again, I take it off and say no, trying to hand it back to him, but he won’t take it back. Next he offers me 250 baht for it and tries to compliment me on how good it looks. At this point it’s getting ridiculous because I have absolutely zero interest in buying this hat from him, but he won’t take no for an answer. So, at this point we’re almost at the boat dock (we’ve only traveled about 20 feet from our car so far) and I’ve taken the hat off for the 6th time and tried to hand it back, but he simply won’t take it and keeps his hands away from his torso so I can’t put it anywhere without dropping it. He goes down to 200 baht and I say “No!” for the 6th time. Finally, he grabs the hat and I think I’m finally over with this, but instead the hat goes right back on my head. Now for try seven. I take it off and thrust it at him, so he obliges by grabbing it and putting it right back on my head for the 8th time!!! This time he offers me 150 baht for it and it’s starting to try my patience, so I tell him “NO” in a firm voice for the last time and jump onto the boat before he can put it back on my head. So you might ask what I’ve learned from this. First, prices are horrifically inflated here and you can get things very cheap if you act uninterested. Second, these people really, really, really want to sell you stuff and are very forceful about it, so you have to be extremely forceful in telling them no right back.
Our group from left to right: Me, Tyler, Emily, William, Stephen, Alex (Brian is taking the picture)
After we got very far down the canal our boat pulled over to the side and stopped. We were somewhat confused until a lady came over in her small boat to sell us things. She had everything from bottled water to fans to souvenir elephants that she wanted to sell to the seven of us. We bought a few items from her because everything was so cheap, although we later discovered that we were horribly ripped off because we didn’t know that the same stuff was much cheaper elsewhere. So, the lady was very nice and we all bought water and got free bananas included in the deal. After that the boat driver took us to Wat Arun, a very large temple that was very, very steep. Now for the second story of the day.
So, when the boat pulls up we all get off at the dock and they tell us in broken English that the boat will be back in exactly one hour to pick us back up. The first thing we see are those wooden cutouts where you go up and stick your head in the hole for the face and take pictures. So we all go up and start taking pictures with the cutouts, which was a lot of fun. Our fun soon turned bitter when a guy walks up to us and says “40 baht.” We have absolutely no clue why he is demanding money from us and we think he’s trying to sell us something. We say “no thank you” and start to walk away. In response, he grab one of our arms and points to a very, very, very, very small writing on the bottom of the cutouts that says “40 baht.” Now, conveniently the writing is also stylized to blend in with the decorations around it so you can’t tell it’s writing. So, this guy demands 40 baht from each of us and we feel incredibly taken advantage of. Lesson from this experience: never, ever do anything in Thailand before asking how much it costs.
So this temple was very interesting and the steps were so steep that they were about six inches deep and went up about 18 inches. I admit that I held onto the handrail because I felt like I was continuously going to fall and it was most uncomfortable. In the end the temple was a lot of fun to see and once we were up the stairs we could see a large portion of the city because it was so tall. After the temple (which costs foreigners 50 baht each to enter) we went back to our boat which took us to the spot we departed from. Now for story three.
As soon as we get off the boat and thank the people there Hat Guy and Postcard Lady are still there, waiting for us like predators about to make the kill. My strategy this time was brilliant to avoid them and not get pulled into some scheme – I left everyone else go first and buried myself in the middle of our group. This worked great for me, but unfortunately Alex was caught by Postcard lady, and she was viscious. She followed Alex, standing in front of him and blocking his way back to the taxi practically screaming at him to buy postcards. The rest of us managed to get to the car and get in relatively quickly, but she wasn’t letting Alex move towards the car! He kept trying to politely say no and shaking his head as me slowly but surely made his way to the car with the lady hot on his trail. From the boat to the car was only around 50 feet and he took close to two minutes to finally get into the car. As he got closer the lady began to scream at him and begged him to buy postcards. Even after he got into the car and closed the door she pounded on the window until the car actually got into traffic where she couldn’t follow. All I have to say is that Postcard Lady was intense. Oh, and I feel really sorry for Alex.
So, we’ve only been out in the city doing things for about two hours and I’ve already had so many experiences. My impressions so far were that I was extremely uncomfortable with people this aggressive and have no skills yet to deal with them. I also have learned that being polite simply isn’t an option most of the time. Those of you who know me well know that I try to always be as polite as possible and nice to the people I meet. Having to be rude to these people or lie to them and say I’ll come back later is incredibly hard for me to do, even though it’s required. But enough of that, our fun was only just beginning!
After the boat ride our driver dropped us off nearby at the Grand Palace, which is the residence of Thailand’s royal family. We got dropped off about a block from the entrance, so we began walking over to where we could see all the tourists walking in and out. As we got near a bunch of people started to tell us that you couldn’t wear shorts inside and had to wear pants, and they offered to make us pants in 15 minutes – for a price of course. Three others in our group and myself were wearing shorts because it was extremely hot and humid, so we started to get concerned. However, fresh off of our boat experience we decided to verify their story before we purchased pants from these street vendors. When our group members with pants returned, they informed us that we do indeed need pants to enter the palace, but we can rent them inside. So, although the vendors didn’t technically lie to us, they weren’t entirely honest either.
Inside I got to rent pants. Yup, pants. You gave them a deposit of 100 baht and then they had changing rooms for both guys and girls where they had one size of pants that fit everyone. We just put our pants on over our shorts to keep it simple and were walking out when we overheard an American speaking to a person who was handing out pants. He was complaining in English that he needed bigger pants and the lady wasn’t understanding what he was saying so he started to motion with his hands bigger and said “Grande! I need Grande!” for those of you who don’t know, grande is Spanish for big. Leave it to an American to try speaking Spanish to someone in Thailand. We thought it was hilarious.
So we walked around the Grand Palace and toured the temple area which was unbelievable! There were so many temples, each one more exquisite than the last and with such fine detail that you had to get right up to it to see all the miniature work. The pictures do a better job explaining than I could:
You can see my awesome green rental pants!
see all the Grand Palace pictures here
After the Grand Palace we returned our pants and got our driver to take us to another temple on the map we had. It turns out that the temple we wanted to go to was actually the Grand Palace itself and we got very confused when he drove us about two blocks and then pulled over to the side of the road and pointed to where we had just been. Once we figured that out we went to yet another temple, which we think could have been the Marble temple, although we’re not quite sure.
After the Marble Temple we walked around and saw Wat Katchanadda and the Giant Swing (although I’m honestly not sure exactly what the giant swing is). Walking around the streets of Thailand was interesting because it wasn’t the touristy area and we could see what the local areas were like.
After an hour or so of walking around randomly and getting a little tired of seeing so many temples we went back to the hotel to try and find food for lunch (although it was already past 3PM). After a quick rest and some food we went back down to the travel place to ask about what to do in the evening. Someone at the Grand Palace had mentioned to us that we should see a local culture show and so we signed up for one of those, although it cost 1500 baht each.
Once there we were treated to a buffet dinner before the show and then had to rush to get to our seats in time. There was no picture taking allowed inside so I can’t show you anything about the show, although I can tell you it was interesting. It was about the history of Thailand and had great dances and an interesting plot, although it was mostly just dances. After that we took pictures with some of the people from the show and got to see the elephants that they used in the show up close. We got done around 10:30PM and had no idea what to do next, so we asked our driver what he recommended. Que next funny story.
Because our driver only spoke very broken English, and knew very few words, he had great difficulty trying to explain to us what there was to do. We managed to hear something about a night market, and one other thing. So, the seven of us are sitting there in the van while he’s trying to explain this to us. We gather that it’s some sort of show but can’t hear. Then we think he’s trying to ask us if we want to go to a nightclub for drinking or something. Then he starts to get excited and explains to us something about ladies dancing. Right now I sense that something isn’t quite right, but I’m not sure what exactly. I guessed he meant some sort of strip club or something and we were all just sitting there very awkwardly not sure what to say. It started to really go south when we figured out that he said something about you go up and pick one [one of the girls dancing] and started to get very, very uncomfortable. So we’re sitting there saying “uh…… um……” not sure what to do when Emily, the only girl in our group suddenly get very excited and exclaims “A SPITTING FROG SHOW!” She though she heard him say something about a species of spitting frog and poisonous snake and he wanted to take us to a show that featured those. We’re trying to explain to her that she was completely wrong and this was no spitting frog show but rather some sort of strip club to get prostitutes. What made matters even worse was the fact that her excitement over it got our driver very excited and he was ready to drive us there. We finally just told him to take us to the night market and now we joke about the spitting frogs. Oh, and if you know anything about Thailand, it turns out it wasn’t quite a strip club he wanted to take us to but one of those shows Thailand is known for if you get my drift.
So, now that that was done with, he took us to the night market where I had a blast. It’s basically a part of town where there are indoor vendors who each rent out a small space for their shop and then various vendors with their tents lined along the streets outside and everyone is trying to sell you everything they have. I bought many souvenirs there for friends and for myself, and I even got to practice bargaining (yes, for those of you who don’t believe me I actually do haggle over here). Oh, and my tale of Thailand wouldn’t be complete without the Blue Elephant story.
So, one of the shops we saw had paintings of elephants and villages in very bring and vivid colors on black cloth. It caught our eyes so we walked inside. Brian was trying to decide if he should buy a village picture he liked and I was trying to decide if I should buy an elephant picture. So, we sat there trying to decide and this lady was trying to convince us to buy. She started by asking for 1500 baht for one painting, telling us they are hand painted. However, we honestly couldn’t decide which ones we liked best or if we wanted to buy one so the lady kept lowering the price trying to entice us to purchase one. Every few minutes she’d come up with some excuse to lower the price to try to sell to us. Actually, that’s another story on its own. In Thailand, everything is cheaper for you. I’m quite serious. They start out with horrifically inflated prices (at least twice what they are actually willing to sell it to you for) and then say “for you, special price!” and then offer to give you a discount to get you to buy. You sort of feel like a celebrity because everything is always cheaper for you! But back to the story. After around 20 minutes of standing there and looking through the paintings she has she finally gets down to 700 baht and we decide that for a price that low it’s more than worth it. So Brian gets down to a brownish painting of a village or a painting of blue elephants. He decides on the village and asks Alex and me if either of us would like the elephant painting because it looked very good. Deep down I really wanted the painting, but I didn’t want to get ripped off again when I could get it cheaper somewhere else (I got ripped off earlier in the day and that was still very fresh in my memory). During my indecision Alex decided it was worth it to him and bought the painting. Right as he said “yes” I knew that I really, really, really wanted that painting. So I made it a personal quest to find another blue elephant painting for me before I left Thailand. Don’t worry, the story isn’t over yet.
So we continued to walk around the market for a while and I searched for my blue elephants to no avail. Once all the stalls began closing we tried to get a taxi to take us back to our hotel and had been told not to spend more than 100 baht on it, but none of the taxis were willing to go below 150. So, we decided to be adventurous. Thailand has these things called Yuk Yuks (which upond further research found out that their actual name is Yuk Tuk or something like that and we were just hearing them wrong, but Yuk Yuk just sounds better) which are basically motorcycles converted into three wheeled open air taxis. So Alex, Brian, and myself crowded into one of these and told him our hotel. Yup, story time!
Let me begin by saying that I thought I was going to die several times. You see, these Yuk Yuks have no seatbelts, and the drivers are even worse than the taxis, and you remember that description from my blog entry yesterday! So, these things can accelerate incredibly fast and can drive very fast to weave in and out of traffic such that we’re cutting off taxis left and right and not staying in one lane for more than about three seconds at a time! The most memorable part was when we pulled up next to another Yuk Yuk at a red light and the two started to rev their engines for fun. There was a young Caucasian guy in a suit in the other one and so he sort of cheered his guy on in a joking way. As soon as the light turned green the other Yuk Yuk peeled out and did a Wheele on its back two wheels so that it was traveling at a 45 degree angle to the ground across the intersection. All I can say is the look on that young guy’s face was priceless. That was really the moment I realized just how crazy we were. We also tried asking our driver at a red light how old he was and he said “twenty-teen.” We decided that if we tried to talk to him more we’d only get every more nervous than we already were. So in all this swerving we’re coming within about two inches of other cars and I kept thinking our Yuk Yuk was going to tip over going around the corners. Eventually, we managed to make it back in one piece... barely...
*Facebook readers, if you can't see the two videos above, try viewing them on the original blog entry.
So we then stayed up deciding where to go the next day and checked our email accounts. I had an email waiting for me from my parents saying no more Kenya Airways and that they would pay for me to fly on a better airline. To be honest though, I wasn’t surprised – I sent my parents the itinerary right before I left and was expecting a comment about the airline. Then we stayed in our room and Brian, Alex, and I chatted and relaxed after a long day. We finally got to bed at 3AM, and planned to split from the rest of our group the next day to go to Pattaya where we could ride elephants through the jungle. All in all, a very long day, but also incredibly rewarding and enlightening. I learned so much about the rest of the world in that 18 hour time span that it broadened my horizons more than any other trip I’ve been on and taught me new things about the world. I will never, ever forget this day and will remember it was one of the best days of my life.
